Okay, I simply have to face the fact that there will not ever be any chapter of this story which does not leave me jumping up and down in my chair, gnashing my teeth, and hollering, "GAAAHHH! What in hell's name is going on here, and what happens next?!"
And this is so clearly valid proof that I'm the most messed-up person on earth, because all that gnashing and bellowing just means I love the story even more.
YOUR PARADOX IS SO OUT OF HAND and disturbingly effective. And you're my total hero, with all this writing! I have been doing a huge amount of writing about writing, frenzied sketchery, odds and ends of What-ifs. But no actual solid "putting new fiction down to a file", or paper, or whatever, in what feels like ages. (Until today, grinding along for seven hours on a very difficult, wheels-deep-in-the-mud, oh crikey I'm gonna stab my eyes out, on the latest chapter of "Moody And Remus Play Doctor For 10,000 Years And Maybe Eventually Kiss Or Something". Wrote about a thousand words on that, and kept a couple hundred of them.)
But the point, yes. Which is Big Love, for gnarly Ministry Tattooing! I like the choice you made to sort of fade to black (or fade to crazy, as the case may be) on the actual act itself. Keeps it very sinister, the way we don't see it happen in the narrative, but get all Tonks's descriptions and understandably messed-up reaction afterward. Good stuff.
And I am in love with this passage: ...from outside came the rumble of cars, and the occasional thunder of a lorry. A group of children ran below her window, squabbling amongst themselves like blackbirds, and the sheer normality of the moment was almost hallucinogenic.
That's so vivid and yummy, I could just eat it up. One of those contrasts between what is and what ought to be, that is so sharp it hurts. Her whole life's become a nightmare, yet the children squabble and the lorries thunder on outside regardless. Bitchin'.
But if that one's good, this moment is sublime:
"And besides," he concluded with a wry chuckle that sounded only a little forced, "who else would let me pretend to court them?"
She smiled back at him then, grateful for the break in the mood. "Kingsley," she suggested. "He's good that way."
It's one of those simple exchanges between characters that's so spot-on, and so natural, that it gives me goosebumps. It's the exact right thing, in the right place, clearly and perfectly expressing what it needs to. In those few lines, I see your characters more plainly than if I'd read thousands of words of descriptive prose on them. Everything clicks and comes together right there, sweet as you please, and I remember why I'm so crazy in love with writing and fanfiction, and imaginary people, and all of it.
And THEN. Oh man, you are wicked. And then all hell breaks loose again. Where the hell did this Moody come from, bless his soul? He wasn't in the world where he yelled at her to go to Apparition classes, or where he yelled at her for not showing up. And in the world where she took the class, he'd never signed her up, so....oh.
Okay nevermind, I got that one. It gets confusing because no matter where she ends up, he thinks she's crazy and tells her to take some time off, so.
But Moody! What's happened to him in the fucked-up Ministry Tattoo world? Where will he go to keep away from the nasty Unspeakables? And just how horrible is that world going to get? And in the not-tattoo world, where Moody's still around, does Remus still have his collar? So many questions! I love this story, but you're mashing my brain with it!!! pls wriet mor ok yis.
Just look at how crazy you've made me:
And this is so clearly valid proof that I'm the most messed-up person on earth, because all that gnashing and bellowing just means I love the story even more.
YOUR PARADOX IS SO OUT OF HAND and disturbingly effective. And you're my total hero, with all this writing! I have been doing a huge amount of writing about writing, frenzied sketchery, odds and ends of What-ifs. But no actual solid "putting new fiction down to a file", or paper, or whatever, in what feels like ages. (Until today, grinding along for seven hours on a very difficult, wheels-deep-in-the-mud, oh crikey I'm gonna stab my eyes out, on the latest chapter of "Moody And Remus Play Doctor For 10,000 Years And Maybe Eventually Kiss Or Something". Wrote about a thousand words on that, and kept a couple hundred of them.)
But the point, yes. Which is Big Love, for gnarly Ministry Tattooing! I like the choice you made to sort of fade to black (or fade to crazy, as the case may be) on the actual act itself. Keeps it very sinister, the way we don't see it happen in the narrative, but get all Tonks's descriptions and understandably messed-up reaction afterward. Good stuff.
And I am in love with this passage: ...from outside came the rumble of cars, and the occasional thunder of a lorry. A group of children ran below her window, squabbling amongst themselves like blackbirds, and the sheer normality of the moment was almost hallucinogenic.
That's so vivid and yummy, I could just eat it up. One of those contrasts between what is and what ought to be, that is so sharp it hurts. Her whole life's become a nightmare, yet the children squabble and the lorries thunder on outside regardless. Bitchin'.
But if that one's good, this moment is sublime:
"And besides," he concluded with a wry chuckle that sounded only a little forced, "who else would let me pretend to court them?"
She smiled back at him then, grateful for the break in the mood. "Kingsley," she suggested. "He's good that way."
It's one of those simple exchanges between characters that's so spot-on, and so natural, that it gives me goosebumps. It's the exact right thing, in the right place, clearly and perfectly expressing what it needs to. In those few lines, I see your characters more plainly than if I'd read thousands of words of descriptive prose on them. Everything clicks and comes together right there, sweet as you please, and I remember why I'm so crazy in love with writing and fanfiction, and imaginary people, and all of it.
And THEN. Oh man, you are wicked. And then all hell breaks loose again. Where the hell did this Moody come from, bless his soul? He wasn't in the world where he yelled at her to go to Apparition classes, or where he yelled at her for not showing up. And in the world where she took the class, he'd never signed her up, so....oh.
Okay nevermind, I got that one. It gets confusing because no matter where she ends up, he thinks she's crazy and tells her to take some time off, so.
But Moody! What's happened to him in the fucked-up Ministry Tattoo world? Where will he go to keep away from the nasty Unspeakables? And just how horrible is that world going to get? And in the not-tattoo world, where Moody's still around, does Remus still have his collar? So many questions!
I love this story, but you're mashing my brain with it!!! pls wriet mor ok yis.