Burnout

Sep. 28th, 2009 09:30 pm
pandora_culpa: (Default)
[personal profile] pandora_culpa
Title: Burnout
Word Count: 250
Rating: PG? (I used a swear!)
Characters: Roy, Ed
Series: doesn't much matter
Summary: Ed is larger than life, and Roy worries.
A/N: Written for the [livejournal.com profile] fma_fic_contest, for the prompt 'candle'. I really love writing shortfic like this. Oh, and it tied for first place! That's kinda cool, too. :)



banner by [livejournal.com profile] sky_dark


He shouldn't worry. He knew that. He had other obligations, and it wasn't like his concern was wanted.

But Roy couldn't stop himself.

There were too many holes in the reports he received, too many injuries glossed over. Requests for explanations were met with curses, or a door slamming heavily against the jamb. Attempts to assist were greeted with suspicion, sometimes outright hostility, and he ground his teeth, wondering when the boy would ever trust him.

He'd seen enough to recognize the path that Fullmetal was walking. No, not walking- running, sprinting headlong into more danger than he knew, and if Edward would only stop and look, then maybe he'd see what lay all around him, closing in...

So he demanded accountability. Ed snarled and snapped at him like a tethered dog. He threatened to limit his funding, and Ed nearly leaped over the desk for his throat. He flat-out ordered Ed to fall into line, to restrain himself, to goddamn stop and think sometimes.

It made no difference whatsoever.

There was an old saying he'd heard while growing up. It came to mind whenever Ed stormed through his office, larger than life, loud enough to make his temples throb and so vibrant his heart ached with helpless fear. It sang in his mind, when he thought about where all of this boundless energy was leading, when he thought about things like fate and destiny.

The candle that burns twice as bright, burns half as long.

And Edward Elric blazed.

Date: 2009-09-29 03:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] patterson1219.livejournal.com
Are there any words to describe how much I absolutely LOVED this? Short and sweet and perfect... any chance of getting a spin off series from this? Where the "burnout" takes place? Or are there any stories out there currently? You're tempted me now... XD

Date: 2009-09-29 03:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] patterson1219.livejournal.com
"You're tempted" is my indecision between using 'you're tempting' and 'you've tempted' which then flopped due to lack of sleep! *sigh*

Date: 2009-09-29 10:31 pm (UTC)
ext_27574: (FMA- Ed- I'm evil)
From: [identity profile] pandoraculpa.livejournal.com
Hee, it's all good. I got what you meant. ;)

And to be honest, I didn't have any continuation in mind. This was something I pulled together fairly quickly once the inspiration struck, and I never really thought about how it might progress. But Ed is pretty much the epitome of 'live fast, die hard', isn't he? I might write more in this vein at some point, but at the moment all my energies are devoted to other projects. Sorry. :(

I'm really happy that you enjoyed this though! It was a lot of fun to write. Thanks so much for reading!

Date: 2009-09-29 05:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anotherfmafan.livejournal.com
I liked this when I read it earlier...yay for first place! <3

Date: 2009-09-29 10:32 pm (UTC)
ext_27574: (FMA- Ed- blue and gold)
From: [identity profile] pandoraculpa.livejournal.com
Yay, indeed! I'm really happy that you liked it- thanks so much for reading! :)

Date: 2009-09-29 06:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beautiful-fic.livejournal.com
Oh my god, hun, this is stunning. I'm torn between crippling admiration and pure, hard envy at your ability to write. Admiration probably wins, though. It's simple with punch, and that's just pefect.

B xxxx

Date: 2009-09-29 10:41 pm (UTC)
ext_27574: (FMA- Ed- blue and gold)
From: [identity profile] pandoraculpa.livejournal.com
Eee, such high praise! Thank you, m'dear! But honestly, this was one of those things that just about wrote itself, once I decided upon the final two lines. All it really needed from me was a little tweaking to bring the wordcount under control, and to maximize the impact. (In other words, I got lucky)

You should really come play in that comm. It's wonderful exercise (at least, in the smaller wordcounts) for learning to economize your words, and harness them to maximum effectiveness. I used to play in the [livejournal.com profile] hp100 as well; drabbles are great for that sort of thing. Plus, it's kind of fun to create a standalone story in such a short space.

But thank you, so, so much. Your appreciation means loads to me, coming from someone as talented as yourself. :) *hugs hard*

Date: 2009-09-30 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceruleanpure.livejournal.com
...woah.

Very nice.
I loved it. :)

Date: 2009-10-07 01:17 pm (UTC)
ext_27574: (FMA- Ed- blue and gold)
From: [identity profile] pandoraculpa.livejournal.com
Sorry to be so slow in replying, but thank you very much! I'm delighted that you enjoyed the story, and thanks for reading! :)

Date: 2009-09-30 03:14 am (UTC)
ext_28821: (ed angst)
From: [identity profile] sayhello.livejournal.com
Wow! This packs so much punch into a small package. Wonderful & powerful, and so in character! Very well done!

Date: 2009-10-07 01:20 pm (UTC)
ext_27574: (FMA- Ed- blue and gold)
From: [identity profile] pandoraculpa.livejournal.com
Apologies for taking so long to reply. Thank you- I'm very happy that you enjoyed the piece, and that the message came across as I'd hoped. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment! :)

Date: 2009-09-30 05:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marith.livejournal.com
Nicely done!

Date: 2009-10-07 01:20 pm (UTC)
ext_27574: (FMA- Ed- blue and gold)
From: [identity profile] pandoraculpa.livejournal.com
Thank you very much! And apologies for taking such a long time to reply.

Date: 2009-09-30 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] orion117.livejournal.com
Excellent. I like the transition from what could be the concern of a commander for one of his men, to something warmer. Congratulations on the win!

Date: 2009-10-07 01:24 pm (UTC)
ext_27574: (FMA- Ed- blue and gold)
From: [identity profile] pandoraculpa.livejournal.com
This was so much fun to write. And yeah, Roy really does have a soft spot for Ed that is much larger than the concern he shows his other men. But then, Ed is rather much like a force of nature, irresistible...

I'm glad you liked the piece. Thanks so much, and sorry for taking so long to reply.

Date: 2009-09-30 10:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littlefuji.livejournal.com
The last two lines were simply amazing.

Date: 2009-10-07 01:25 pm (UTC)
ext_27574: (FMA- Ed- blue and gold)
From: [identity profile] pandoraculpa.livejournal.com
*grins* Thank you very much! (and sorry to take a long time replying!)

Date: 2009-10-01 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] straightcogar.livejournal.com
One word. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Date: 2009-10-07 01:26 pm (UTC)
ext_27574: (FMA- Ed- blue and gold)
From: [identity profile] pandoraculpa.livejournal.com
Thank you very much! (sorry to take so long replying)

Date: 2009-10-01 05:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tea-tiemz.livejournal.com
Rawr! This fic just pounces! Beautiful and strong - it deserves every good word it gets!

Date: 2009-10-07 01:27 pm (UTC)
ext_27574: (FMA- Ed- blue and gold)
From: [identity profile] pandoraculpa.livejournal.com
Aw, so kind! I'm really happy that you liked it; it was absolutely delightful to write. Thank you so much for reading, and sorry it took so long for me to reply.

Date: 2009-10-01 02:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] morganfae.livejournal.com
Ooo really liked this one. It may be short but it certainly doesn't lack in substance or impact on the reader. I really like this, and it's a great comparison between a bright candle and Ed. It's true he burns so brightly and those that do burn out so easily. I can really empathize. My friend always told me I'm like fire. When I get angry I'm explosive (I yell and stomp around :D) but in the end I blow out and I'm perfectly fine again and not angry in the least.

Sorry if this review sucks. I'm tired and a bit out of it, but I really hope my point gets across. :)

In other words great story as usual (love your work!). Keep writing and I'll keep reading!

-Elle B.

Date: 2010-01-07 02:14 pm (UTC)
ext_27574: (FMA- Ed- blue and gold)
From: [identity profile] pandoraculpa.livejournal.com
Oh crap- I'm sorry I let a reply to this slide! End of 2009 was so crazy...

But thank you, very much! Ed has always seemed, in my mind, to be one of those people you see just rocketing toward an uncertain end. The kind who live so hard and full, and how can they ever maintain that intensity? I'm so glad that the words carried over that feeling successfully.

Thank you so much for reading. And I apologize for my reply-fail! >.
Edited Date: 2010-01-07 02:14 pm (UTC)
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