pandora_culpa

Title: Merry Christmas, Motherfucker (or, The True and Honest Account of How Roy Mustang Got His Remarkable Stocking Stuffer, Christmas 1914)
Rating: PG13ish (for Edward's exceedingly foul mouth)
Word Count: 1357
Summary: Ed has found the most miserable town in existence. And he's stuck in it. And it's all Mustang's fault.

A/N: First off, this is AU as all hell. Next, it's almost a year old, was written in a comment box on Facebook, and is completely un-beta-ed. I just re-discovered it today. And it could probably use a little explanation. (Or maybe not, but humor me anyway.)

Last year, in a fit of pique over the holidays and their ensuing stress, evil_whimsey and I devised a game of prompts, all of which started 'It's Christmas, and...' - and concluded with dumping various characters in absolutely horrible scenarios. The point was to write the ones that really tickled our brains, trying to make them as awful and painful as possible. This one got away from me- it came out funny instead. But that's alright. The main thing was, it got us both through the holiday season without either of us turning into homicidal psychopaths, bent on destroying everything in our paths. And really, that's about all anyone can ask.



( Read more... )

Title: Frozen (or Pandora Sucks At Coming Up With Decent, Off-the-Cuff Titles)
Rating: big ol' NC-17
Word Count: 7558, because apparently, I never know when to shut up
Warnings: cursing, yaoi, smut, frottage, indecent uses of a sleeping bag. Abuse of italics. Oh, and crack. Lots and lots of crack.
A/N: Written for the fma_ihop kinkmeme, for the prompt: Roy and Ed are on a mission in the wilderness, and are forced to share a sleeping bag for warmth. I don't know who the original poster was (because it's anon, y'know?), but thank you for the prompt, OP! It gave me quite a good run of story. :)



( Frozen )

Title: So Comes the Rain
Author: pandoraculpa
Word Count: 480
Rating: PG?
Characters: Edward Elric
Summary: Edward cannot trust the rain.
Warnings: Spoilers for chapters 6 and 43 of the manga.
A/N: Written for the fma_fic_contest, for the prompt 'rain'. First place winner, ee! Must thank truths_in_lies for once again being my second set of eyes on this piece.



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( Edward cannot bring himself to trust the rain. )

Title: No Absolution
Theme Prompt: Sin
Word Count: 589
Rating: PG
Characters: Roy Mustang
Summary: The war is over.
A/N: Written for and reposted from fma_fic_contest. My favorite facet of Roy to explore, because I am evil and love to abuse this wonderful character. Thanks to truths_in_lies for the quickie beta.

( The war is over, and the quiet is appalling. )

That's not to say that it has no name, just that it has no good name.

See, evil_whimsey made a request last winter, for a fic involving Edward Elric, cocoa, and someone perving on him at Briggs. And this is what I came up with.

She's such a dear, patient person. She didn't even bash me after reading it.

See, this is a perfect example of how messed up my brain is. Given a lovely opportunity to write fluffy gorgeousness, I turn around and pull this piece of depravity out of my brain, which must be the polar opposite of what was intended. So here you have it. Ed, cocoa, and- of all people- Kimblee.

(for the record, I think Kimblee is a complete freak, and I don't like having him in my head)


Spoilers for manga chapters 70 and 71. The italicized quote at the beginning of the story is from Kimblee himself.

( Kimblee Is a Sick Fucker )