pandora_culpa

Title: Merry Christmas, Motherfucker (or, The True and Honest Account of How Roy Mustang Got His Remarkable Stocking Stuffer, Christmas 1914)
Rating: PG13ish (for Edward's exceedingly foul mouth)
Word Count: 1357
Summary: Ed has found the most miserable town in existence. And he's stuck in it. And it's all Mustang's fault.

A/N: First off, this is AU as all hell. Next, it's almost a year old, was written in a comment box on Facebook, and is completely un-beta-ed. I just re-discovered it today. And it could probably use a little explanation. (Or maybe not, but humor me anyway.)

Last year, in a fit of pique over the holidays and their ensuing stress, evil_whimsey and I devised a game of prompts, all of which started 'It's Christmas, and...' - and concluded with dumping various characters in absolutely horrible scenarios. The point was to write the ones that really tickled our brains, trying to make them as awful and painful as possible. This one got away from me- it came out funny instead. But that's alright. The main thing was, it got us both through the holiday season without either of us turning into homicidal psychopaths, bent on destroying everything in our paths. And really, that's about all anyone can ask.



( Read more... )

Title: Rusted Dawn

Pairing: Roy/Ed

Rating: NC-17 overall

Summary: It's too close; he's crumbling, and he can't stop the slide into this disaster.

A/N: My god, I can hardly believe it has taken me so very long to get this chapter together! I must beg apologies of you all. There were so many issues that I encountered with this particular installment and, quite frankly, I think I was more than a little burnt out when I hit that wall. The writing of this story takes its toll on me, and when I look back at my original draft of this chapter, it truly shows.

I have to extend heartfelt, groveling thanks to my dearest evil_whimsey for first of all, being wise enough and honest enough to tell me when I've made grievous errors, or simply not written up to my fullest potential. Without you, m'dear, this would be a far, far poorer tale, and I would not have learned nearly so much.

And to you, all my readers who have come this far, and still continue to read-- thank you, so much, from the deepest parts of my heart. Your interest in this dark little tale has meant the world to me, and I am so indebted to you for putting up with my erratic posting. I can't promise how quickly I will be able to have the next chapter ready, but please believe me when I promise that, no matter how long it takes, Rusted Dawn will be completed. I will not leave you hanging. Thank you forever.

...and I'll shut up now, and just get on with the story.


previous chapters


( Things have to change. )

Title: When the Night Comes In
Rating: PG-13ish
Word Count: 3312
Summary: "We're too late." Seemingly unconnected murders are not so random after all, and Riza realizes the terrible choice she will have to make.
Warnings: Character death
Author's Note: Okay, so this is not delicious cake. This is an ugly, nasty little story regurgitated straight out of its inspiration. It spewed out in a relatively short space of time; I couldn't hold it down, and it wants to kick you in the ribs. So please read with caution. Spawned from Matthew Good's song, "Alabama Motel Room". Many thanks go, as always, to evil_whimsey who puts up with me and my shit far more than she should. Thanks, m'love. :)


( When the Night Comes In )

Title: Two Of Us
Author: pandoraculpa
Betas: the exceedingly brilliant and patient evil_whimsey, artemisrae, ever kind and helpful , and consultation on medical details from the lovely beautiful_fic
Artists: the very talented bob_fish
Genre: Drama, Romance
Word Count: Um, a lot? Over 54,000; a more accurate count will be amended later
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Characters: Ed/OCs, Roy/OC, Roy/Ed
Summary: After recovering from being gored by a chimera, Roy has to adjust to many changes in his life- especially his relationship with Edward. A sequel to The Prices We Pay.

Written for the fma_big_bang. This turned out to be much, much longer than I'd anticipated, and so for everyone's sake (including my own), I will post Part 1 (which will encompass three LJ posts) today, and the second part will come in a day or two. Also, many, many thanks to my betas, and to bob_fish for her splendid artwork! The illustrations are embedded within the story, but please do go and tell her what wonderful work she has done- she deserves all kinds of praise! But please be careful, if you haven't read the fic yet, as her art post contains spoilers for the story.

Sorry for not getting it all up in one go, but I'm about frazzled. At any rate, I hope you enjoy the fic!


( If there was one thing that Roy was fairly certain Edward would always do, it was surprise him. )

At long last, I come bearing fic!


Title: The Prices We Pay
Characters: Roy, Ed, cameo by Hawkeye
Word Count: 13639
Rating: R (warnings for gore, and major manga spoilers for chapters 76-77, maybe a little before and after that as well. Please read responsibly.)
Summary: Only life is equivalent to another life.
A/N: Many fervent thanks go to several people for their assistance with this fic. As always, I owe evil_whimsey enormously for her comments and suggestions, and artemisrae as well, for her own unique perspective. And thanks to beautiful_fic I didn't have to go to med school to keep the details of injury and recovery as realistic as possible. This story wouldn't be what it is now without all their assistance, and I cannot thank them enough.


( Part 1 )

Title: Frozen (or Pandora Sucks At Coming Up With Decent, Off-the-Cuff Titles)
Rating: big ol' NC-17
Word Count: 7558, because apparently, I never know when to shut up
Warnings: cursing, yaoi, smut, frottage, indecent uses of a sleeping bag. Abuse of italics. Oh, and crack. Lots and lots of crack.
A/N: Written for the fma_ihop kinkmeme, for the prompt: Roy and Ed are on a mission in the wilderness, and are forced to share a sleeping bag for warmth. I don't know who the original poster was (because it's anon, y'know?), but thank you for the prompt, OP! It gave me quite a good run of story. :)



( Frozen )

Title: Something Beautiful
Author: pandoraculpa
Word Count: 677
Rating: PG
Characters: Tucker, cameo by Ed
Summary: He wanted to make something beautiful.
Warnings: Spoilers for manga chapter 6 and original anime episode 7- but if you haven't read/seen those already, one wonders why you're reading fanfic in the first place. ;)
A/N: I wasn't hugely satisfied with this, seeing as how it was mostly an exercise to blow off the end-of-story jitters I'm experiencing on another project, but it seems that other people were. First place for fma_fic_contest's Chimera prompt! Thanks to truths_in_lies for the read-over.



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( The most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. )